Guide
Meeting someone from online for the first time: a safety checklist
Most first meetings are uneventful. A few simple habits make them safer, and they are easy to follow once they are routine.
Before you go
- Take the conversation seriously. Check that what they have told you is consistent. Be wary of someone who avoids simple questions or whose story changes.
- Do a light check. Their first name and city should fit what you have been told. A reverse image search on their photos can reveal reused pictures.
- Keep personal details back. Do not share your home address, workplace, or financial information before you have met and decided you trust them.
- Never send money. A request for money from someone you have not met in person is a major warning sign, whatever the reason given.
- Choose the place and time. Pick a public, busy venue you know, during the day or early evening.
- Tell a friend. Share who, where and when. Agree a time you will check in afterwards.
- Plan your own travel. Arrange to get there and home on your own, so you are never dependent on the other person for a ride.
At the meeting
- Keep your phone charged and with you.
- Keep your drink in sight, and buy your own.
- Go easy on alcohol. You want clear judgement.
- Stay in the public space. Do not move to a private location on a first meeting.
- Trust your discomfort. You do not owe anyone an explanation for leaving.
How to leave if it does not feel right
You can end a meeting at any time. A simple line is enough: "I have to head off, thank you for coming." Leave, then message your friend. If you feel unsafe, go to staff at the venue, or contact local emergency services.
After the meeting
- Check in with your friend.
- If you want to see the person again, take the next step at your own pace.
- If you do not, a short, kind message is better than silence.
- If anything felt wrong, report it to the app or platform you used. In Linger Letters, block and report controls stay visible during a pairing, and you can delete your account in Settings.
A note on structure
Many people feel safer meeting someone after a period of written conversation, because it gives time to notice inconsistency. That is part of the thinking behind slow dating, though a written exchange does not replace the habits above. Read how long to talk before meeting.